Incovenient Surprises
“Ugh,” I sighed to myself, staring at the half-empty Nalgene bottle inside my blind. “Why did I have to drink all that so quickly?” My mental-rationing never functions properly while hunting. Thanks to this ineptitude, my bladder was now waging a war of attrition against whatever part of my brain controls will power (a tough battle to fight when the skies are empty and you’ve got nothing else on your mind). Inevitably, I concede.
“Well, I gotta pee,” I announce, making my capitulation known to my hunting buddies. What happens next, defies conventional wisdom. While I’m busy stripping off layers of camouflage, the others retract into their blinds, stop talking and start scanning the skies. This is because, without fail, birds will start working our decoys when someone has to urinate.
At first I thought this was an isolated phenomenon, but over the years many hunters and fishermen have detailed similar experiences to me. Deer approaching the stand while texting, fish only striking top-water baits while your head is turned and ducks locking-in while you’re picking up your spread. Apparently fish and game are masters of surprise. Forget about the “watched pot never boils,” cliche. In the outdoors, the un-watched pot instantly evaporates.
These occurrences are so common, that often I will intentionally look away from lures during a retrieve or strike up a conversation when the geese aren’t cooperating. The scary thing is, it works.
So watch for my next post, How to Shoot Accurately With Your Fly Down While Checking E-mail and Picking up Decoys.